My personal breastfeeding goal in terms of duration is 2 years.  I don’t see it as a chore to breastfeed, on the contrary, I find that breastfeeding is less troublesome compared to bottle and formula feeding.  In addition, since Ethan had been breastfed for 2 years, it goes without saying that Hannah should also be breastfed for roughly that same duration.

That was my plan, I told myself, unless she weaned herself off.

When Hannah was approximately one month shy of her 2nd birthday, I decided to try to wean her off her daytime breastfeeding sessions.  I didn’t want to use Bonjela because I had heard that it contained a substance that was not safe for kids (there was no report of this danger back when I weaned Ethan off).  So I decide to go natural this time round and used bitter gourd.

I started by slicing the bitter gourd up and manually squeezing the juice out, then I used it to apply on my nipples.  Nope, didn’t work.  Not potent enough.

So I then chopped up the bitter gourd and added a little bit of boiled water, and then I puréed it in the blender.  With that one medium bowl of bitter gourd purée, I applied it to my nipples immediately before breastfeeding Hannah.  She immediately rejected it.  I did this for 2-3 days in a row, and after that Hannah was completely weaned off the breast during the daytime!  I hadn’t expected this method to work so fast, but it did!

Sometimes she would instinctively come for a feed and then it was as if she suddenly remembered and then she would back off and make a face, saying, “Not nice anymore, Mommy?”

I didn’t suffer any breast engorgement nor blocked ducts because I didn’t really have any milk left anyway.

However, even though Hannah had been weaned off the breast during the day, she would cuddle up to me as soon as I had taken my night shower and asked to be breastfed.  And she would need that comfort suckle to fall asleep.

This was the hard part.

I knew I could simply use the bitter gourd purée to wean her off completely then, but something in me wasn’t quite ready yet.  Sometimes I would tell her that Mommy didn’t have much milk left, and that she was a big girl now and she would reply, “Can drink from cup?”, and I would say, “Yes Hannah…”.  But the comfort suckling still went on.  And I admit that I did nothing drastic to stop that.

And then some time in July of this year, Hannah fell sick with high fever and cough.  The first night she was on medication, she fell asleep out of tiredness without the need for comfort suckling.  She still got up at night and asked for milk though.  On the second night, I told her to try to sleep without breastfeeding because I was afraid she might throw up.  She quietly obeyed.

Then on the third night when she got better, she smiled and looked at me, “Mommy, have milk?” So I gave in.:P

But I knew then that she was ready to be completely weaned off.  So following that, I told her that there was really no more milk left, and that all her friends drank milk from the cup and not from the breast.  She whined a little, but she listened and obeyed and eventually fell asleep in my arms.  No screaming or crying.  And she did not even wake up at night for milk.

Again, I did not see it coming and I had not expected it to happen so fast!  God really did answer my prayers again, and I am truly grateful that the weaning process happened rather smoothly.  It has been close to three weeks now that Hannah has been completely weaned from the breast, and I last breastfed her on Saturday July 23 2011.

Hannah still loves to cuddle close to me, and I suppose there is a close bond in terms of smell.  She still needs me to sleep beside her when she falls asleep, but she has achieved a grand milestone in independence.  Her dairy intake now consists of any kind of milk products: fresh milk, UHT milk, cheese, yogurt, etc.

With that, I know that I have successfully completed my second labor of love in 2 years and 4 months.  I have given her my best and I am so grateful to have this experience to carry with me through my life.  Breastfeeding is the most wonderful and rewarding journey any mother can take with their child, and I am so blessed to have been able to go through it not once, but twice over, cherishing every step and moment of it, and establishing a bond so strong with my kids that nothing can shatter.

** The first picture at the top of this post was candidly taken by Ethan **

A couple of weeks back, Hannah suddenly awoke in the night, coughing really badly.  She was completely all right when she went to bed, and we were very surprised that she had suddenly developed a cough.

Her cough was very forceful and in between coughs, it sounded as though she was drawing in a lot of air, and trying very hard to breathe.  It wasn’t asthmatic wheezing, that I know for sure, having suffered that for a few years of my childhood, but rather, it felt like she was trying to clear something in her throat.  The sound of her cough was similar to that of a barking seal.

I suspected she had croup, because the “barking seal” cough was a dead characteristic giveaway.  Croup is a respiratory condition caused by acute viral infection of the upper airway.  Upon checking my favorite childcare book by Dr Miriam Stoppard, I confirmed my suspicions.  The forcefulness of her cough made her throw up a few times that night too, and in the end, I carried her over my shoulder instead and patted her back to sleep.

The following morning, she seemed all right, with just a slight cough, but no “barking seal” syndrome.  I called up the pediatrician, who advised us to monitor her condition that day, since it sounded like a mild case of croup.  We weren’t really fans of going to the hospital, so we monitored and prayed that it would all be okay.  And we were glad that she recovered soon after.  As always, I have to say it must have been some of the breast milk that helped the recovery

Anyway, it was our first experience handling a child with croup (pronounced “kroop”), and we learnt a few things from it:

• Croup will come suddenly without any warning.  A child who seems okay might suddenly wake up at night with croup.
• Croup attacks usually occur at night, but are thankfully shortlived.
• Air-conditioning should be turned off to reduce the dryness in the air that may cause a dry throat that could bring on the croup attack.  To make the air around Hannah moist and damp, I placed a bowl of water under the bed.  Dr Miriam Stoppard also suggests bringing the child into the bathroom and turning on the tap.
• A child suffering from croup that causes vomitting due to forceful cough should not be fed anything.  I learnt this the hard way
• If it is mild, the condition can be monitored at home.  After all, croup is a viral infection and antibiotics is not needed to cure it.
• In any case, call the doctor to check for what needs to be done.

She’s okay now, and I really do hope the attacks won’t come again. *prays hard*

If anyone wants advice or information on breastfeeding, I will be more than willing to share my experiences and good practices.  I can tell you how to improve milk production, what to eat, how to start off on breastfeeding as soon as baby is born, and I can also offer tips on how to express milk if you are still working and want to feed your baby EBM.  If you need recommendations on a good breast pump, I can also give you my two cents’ worth, including where to buy and how much to expect, be it a manual pump or an electric one.  If you want my thoughts on which types of nursing pads to use, I’m your gal too.

But if you ask me how to wean baby from the breast, sorry…I’m stumped myself.

It was very hard for me to wean Ethan the last time, and now, I am facing an equally arduous task of weaning Hannah.  With Ethan, I used Bonjela, but since then I have heard conflicting opinions on how Bonjela might not be the safest best for kids.  If anyone has any insight on this, I’d be happy to find out more.

Anyway, I have been slowly telling Hannah that Mommy’s milk supply is running low.  Sometimes when she asks for milk, I’d tell her, “You just had some milk Hannah.  And anyway, Mommy has very little milk left.  Only a bit milk left, baby.”

She’ll look at me pleadingly with those big brown eyes of hers and say, “A bit milk!” and position herself for a feed.  Talk about persistence.

Sometimes after a feed, she’ll tell me “Milk finish!”

I’ll then ask her, “Do you want more milk in your cup?”

She’ll nod and say, “Yellow cup!”

So now when she wants to be breastfed, she’ll say, “A bit milk!” or “A bit left!”, or depending on the situation, she’ll sometimes say, “Other side!”

Yes, as you can see, I have no idea how to wean her yet.  I’m praying she’ll wean herself off on her own…anyone experienced that before?

I have not been writing a whole lot about my breastfeeding journey with Hannah, at least not as much as I did when I was breastfeeding Ethan.  The thing is, breastfeeding does get easier with the second kid onwards.

Hannah was and still is breastfed from birth till now (she’s 19 months now), and she’s showing no signs of stopping yet.  Several people have asked me when I would be weaning Hannah off the breast, but with all the perks and fringe benefits that come with breastfeeding, it’s difficult to make a conscious effort…especially since we recently discovered another PLUS point of breastfeeding.

When Hannah was down with herpangina, the only source of food she would take as she was recovering was breast milk.  I have no doubt in my mind that Mommy’s milk helped her tremendously as she was battling the virus.  Since herpangina was a highly contagious disease, the doc told us to try our best to ensure Ethan does not come near Hannah.

But we all know that is close to impossible.

Ethan visited Hannah once in the hospital, and a few hours after he went home with Daddy, my heart sank when Pete told me that Ethan was registering a high fever.  The next morning, his fever was still prevalent, and when I told the doctor, she advised me that I should give Ethan my freshly expressed breast milk, since I would possibly have developed the antibodies for the disease.

So when we got home from hospital, I expressed a little bit of breast milk for Ethan.  It wasn’t even an ounce, I think, for I had just fed Hannah.  When I told Ethan I was going to give him breast milk, he said, “I don’t want it, Mommy.  Breast milk is for babies!”

I told him I knew that, but since he was not feeling well, the doctor asked me to give him some of Mommy’s milk to help him recover.  I mixed the breast milk with his chocolate milk in a cup and he drank it all up. I did this about 3 times that day, and once the following day.  By the end of the first day, his fever had totally gone, and he was back to his normal self.  And when I was preparing the drink for him the following day, he said, “I don’t need breast milk anymore Mommy, I’m all better now!”

Well, I don’t know if it was coincidence or not, but I do think Mommy’s milk had something to do with healing him. Now wouldn’t you agree that Mommy’s milk the most wonderful thing in the world?

We were in KL for 2 days last week to visit my MIL, who had just had a surgery.  Hannah was already slightly coughing when we traveled there, and during those 2 days, her cough had worsened.  In fact, she had thrown up on two occasions due to forceful coughing; and when we returned to Penang on Thursday night, she was running a high fever of 38.5ºC.  Paracetamol only brought the temperature down temporarily, and the following morning, we knew we had to bring her in to the doctor’s.

The doctor diagnosed Hannah has having acute bronchiolitis, which was more severe than the last time when she had bronchitis.  This time, the wheezing was more pronounced and we could tell that our poor little sweetheart was breathless.  Because Hannah would need the nebulizer treatment more regularly and also throughout the night, doctor advised us to admit her in hospital, which meant I would need to stay with her too.

We then took Hannah for a chest x-ray, which the doctor had ordered.  And when the results came in, there was a slight indication of pneumonia in her right lung.  Since we were going to be warded, the doctor prescribed an intravenous antibiotic which would be administered to Hannah via the branula IV tube (i.e. a plastic tube inserted intravenously) 3 times a day.  This was a stronger antibiotic than its oral counterpart and would possibly not cause diarrhoea.  At the same time, the doc said she would be taking a blood sample from Hannah.

I was ushered out of the treatment room while the doctor and nurse administered the branula IV on Hannah, presumably because it would cause the mother of the child some distress.  In any case, I had to settle the hospital admissions procedure at that time too.  (Pete had to leave the hospital then to fetch Ethan from school)

When I came back to get Hannah, the nurse was carrying her and I was told that Hannah did not shed a single tear throughout the entire procedure!  Amazing!

Here’s what it looks like:

…and then later on in the evening, after she threw up and I had to change her:

See what a champion my brave little darling is?

The antibiotics was given intravenously using a syringe which is inserted into the tubing intravenously into Hannah’s hand.  This was administered three times a day, and can also be given when she is asleep.

Throughout that first night, Hannah’s fever fluctuated, and she could barely keep her milk down.  I only breastfed her a little bit at a time, and I was very wary whenever she started coughing.  Still, nothing could be done to stop her from throwing up then and again, and we had to go through several changes of clothing.  I remember once I had to call the nurses to take her temperature again because even after a dose of paracetamol, I could feel her body still warm.  My instincts were right.  Her fever had shot up to 38.8°C and they had to give her a dose of Nurofen (a different type of fever medication) to bring the fever down.  Good thing the Nurofen had a sweet orangey taste.

The next morning, doc said her throat looked slightly red, and that could possibly have caused her throwing up.  Her lungs were still congested with phlegm; so in conclusion, we’d still have to stay in the hospital one more night.

Some *activities* we indulged in in the hospital:

…and sometimes when Hannah was bored *playing* on the bed, I had to take her for walks along the corridor.

By and by, I learnt the routines employed by the hospital.  Medicine was administered to the patients at 8:00a.m., 3:00p.m. and 10:00p.m. every day.  Breakfast was served at about 8:00a.m., with a cup of soy milk given at around 10:00a.m.  Lunch was between 12:00 - 12:30p.m. and tea time at 3:30p.m.  Dinner was served at about 6:00p.m. and we were given a cup of warm Milo at about 8:30p.m.  Doctor visits were twice a day, at about 9:00a.m. in the morning, but the evening visit times were not fixed.  I learnt which were the *nice* nurses and which were the *not-so-nice* ones.

And while Hannah was recuperating and getting well in the hospital, Ethan was in good hands under the care of his Daddy.  Of course his Daddy would have to content with his unending questions like, “Why do the girls have to sleep in the hospital?”, “Why do we go to the hospital?”

On Saturday afternoon, the second day we were in the hospital, I noticed the bandages on Hannah’s bandaged hand was slightly loose, so I asked the nurse to readjust it.  But just as I was waiting for the nurse to come to the treatment room, Hannah yanked the whole bandage, and everything with it, off!

I tell you, I very nearly had a heart attack when I saw that happen!

This meant that she would need to have the branula IV reinserted.

And that evening, after the doctor had finished seeing all his patients, the nurse carried Hannah to the treatment room yet AGAIN.  I took the opportunity to wash up while I waited.  And within a few minutes, the nurse returned, telling me that Hannah did not cry one bit.

Here she is, with her newly-bandaged hand.  This time, the branula was inserted into her right hand, as opposed to the left hand the first time around:

I prayed and prayed that Hannah would recover really quickly and the next morning, my girl woke up feeling much better.  She had a smile on her face, and giggled when I sang to her.

It was clear that she missed home a lot, and that she missed her big brother too.  Ethan loves to fiddle with the remote in the hospital, and would busy himself with it every time he came to visit.  He was the perfect big brother, bringing Hannah little gifts from home, like a McDonald Happy Meal toy, one of her cot toys from home, and an ABC book.

Hannah and I stayed in the hospital for THREE nights (Friday, Saturday and Sunday).  Every minute was a minute closer to recovery for our little Hannah.  She was really the *darling* of the pediatric ward.  Nurses called her the “breastfeeding baby”, her pediatrician called her a “model patient”, and she won the hearts of many with her adorable smiles, and her courage to remain calm and composed through the branula IV procedure, and her sporadic words like, “Mommy!”, “Baybeee!” and “Mamak!”.

On Monday morning, when the doctor came to check Hannah, I requested for permission to be discharged.  Since her fever had diminished, and her lungs had cleared up a whole lot, the doctor agreed to let us go home.   Ordinarily, we would need to stay for 2 more nights to ensure the antibiotic course via IV was completed, but since we were going home earlier, Hannah would need to come in to the hospital at the appointed times for her remaining 5 shots.

That meant we needed to take extra precaution with her bandaged arm whilst at home…because in the event the branula IV was removed, we would need to bring Hannah to the hospital to have it reinserted.

Thankfully, after going home and revisiting the hospital 5 times after that to get the antobiotic jab (and also nebulizer treatment), the nurse removed the branula IV tube and bandages.  Hannah is currently on a 5-day oral antibiotic course according to doc’s orders and is recovering really really well.

It must be because of the excessive amount of time he spends with both Hannah and me.  Ethan has certainly started to display some form of inevitable sibling rivalry and jealousy.

It all started about a week after we touched down in Penang.  Pete had started work then, and I was still in the process of looking for a daycare for Ethan.  So meanwhile, both kids would be at home with me 24/7.  At first it was all right, although it was quite difficult for me to juggle cooking, cleaning and caring for both kids at the same time.

But then I think Ethan got a bit bored with staying at home all the time.  He started his tantrums and his whining.  And when I breastfed Hannah, he would say, “No feeding Hannah, Mommy!  Let me close it!” and proceed to *help* me “close up” my blouse.  On the contrary, when we ask him, “What does Hannah drink then?”, he’ll reply, “Hannah drinks milk!”  By the way, he does NOT forbid me to feed Hannah when Pete is around.  And he did NOT forbid me to do so when we were in the States.

Also, Hannah is in the drooling stage right now, so whenever Ethan sees her drool, he would say, “No spitting, Hannah!”  Sometimes he would use his fist and sort of hit her on the head or the chest.  It’s hard to see this happen, and I always try to gently but firmly tell Ethan, “No hitting Hannah, Ethan.  It hurts her, okay?”

And when I pick Hannah up, Ethan would ask me to carry him too!  He’d ask me to “Put Hannah away, Mommy!”  But when I put her down, he will be busy playing with his toys.  I try to *entertain* him at home as much as possible with stuff like coloring, water-color painting, and his favorite videos, but Ethan is at that age where he wants to assert his individualism and independence at the same time, hence the “No!”s that abound time and again.

So beginning August, we decided to put Hannah with Ethan’s ex-sitter, Mrs Tan, for about half a day, just to see how she copes.  At least I would have about half a day to run some errands and find a daycare for Ethan.  I was a little worried about Hannah not taking any milk while away from me, because she does not take to the bottle at all.  Well, anyway, after a few days, I decided to start her off on the regular toddler sippy cup and I am happy to say she is drinking well now.  Psst….might need to get rid of her bottles soon!

With Hannah away for half a day, we managed to get Ethan started on halfday daycare at a nearby center.  He is currently at the tail-end of his two-week orientation and will begin regular halfday daycare when the new school term starts in September.

That aside, the sibling rivalry still exists and I forsee it will be around for some time still.  Lately he has also started to say, “No crying Hannah!” or “No laughing Hannah!”

But at the end of the day, sometimes Ethan surprises me and does loving big-brotherly things like holding Hannah’s hand while he falls asleep.

Scrap Credits
I Love Spring QP freebie from Biancka
I Love Spring elements from Seni Designs
“In the City” Alphas from Sahlin Studio

Weight

5.846 kilos or 12 lb 14.2 oz (weighed in at her recent 2-month well child checkup).  Hannah’s weight is charted at 92.35% of growth percentile based on weight-for-age!

Height/Length

56.5 cm

Motor Skills

• Hannah’s getting stronger in her kicks.  She also loves to splash the water with her feet when I bathe her.
• She can open and close her hands sometimes.
• More eager at batting the toys hung in front of her.
• Can hold head up at an angle when placed on her tummy.
• Can rotate her whole body while placed on her back on a flat surface.
• Once, it felt like she was trying to stand when I held her against me, and her feet were pressed on my thighs, as if she was standing with support!
• Likes to be propped up.  She loves to *sit* on the sofa, or held in a sitting position when carried.

Communication and Social Skills

• Hannah’s loud throaty sounds are getting less, especially after we started using a humidifier.
• She has started cooing and making sounds in response to what we speak.  Sounds like “oooh” and “aaah” are her specialties.
• More smiles now
• Cries are getting louder and stronger and more persistent, sometimes to the extend of  “sounding out of key”.  The word we are looking for here is “heartwrenching”.
• Eye contact is more apparent and she will follow our movements intently with her eyes.

Others

Hannah can sometimes sleep for about 5 hours straight during the night, but it is not consistent.  Hopefully our sleepless nights will be a thing of the past soon.

Food and Feeding

She is 100% on Mommy’s milk.  However, because her weight is on the higher end of the scale, her doctor has asked us to try giving her slightly less to drink; perhaps removing the breast a little sooner or feeding her just one breast during the night, or try going through the night without a feed.  On the other hand, I feel that Hannah can gauge when she is full because she would sometimes reject the breast, unlike her brother the last time.

I had a one hour conference call scheduled today, so I asked my parents to look after Hannah during that time.  The day before I’d made an effort to express some breast milk for Hannah, just so my parents could feed it to Hannah if she asked for milk during my meeting.  Well, turns out she didn’t, but asked for it as soon as my conference ended, so I decided to warm the EBM and feed it to her instead.

It was the first time I had expressed milk since I had Hannah, and the very first time I was gonna feed her using the bottle.  I honestly didn’t think it would work, but gave it a shot anyway, because my EBM was already kept for 24 hours in the fridge, and I would have to throw it out had I not fed it to her then.

The first few tries were unsuccessful because I didn’t close the bottle properly, so the EBM leaked out.  And then when I made sure it didn’t leak, Hannah used her tongue to push away the nipple, and cried and screamed even louder!  I guess she knew I was feeding her so she flatly refused the bottle!  When I asked my Mom to try feeding her, she still refused, because the smart little girl *knew* that a *better milk package* was around…so why should she settle for less?

So that’s the story of my leftover EBM…being a kiasu breastfeeding mommy, of course I could not bring myself to throw out the milk just like that, although it was just about two ounces…

So I poured a little of the EBM onto a wet washcloth and washed Hannah’s face with it when I bathed her!  Hey…breast milk works wonders on heat rash, y’know?

Phew!  We just made it past Hannah’s second growth spurt!  According to baby books and experts, an infant experiences growth spurts at certain periods during the first year of life and the approximate times are:

• 7-10 days
• 3 weeks
• 6 weeks
• 3 months
• 4 months
• 6 months
• 9 months

During these growth spurts, the baby’s appetite will increase, and a typical sign of a growth spurt is something called cluster feedings, i.e. when baby nurses several times close together, sometimes even in an hour or two!  Hannah’s first growth spurt went by almost unnoticed, because she was still settling into her feeding and sleep pattern then, but just as I thought it was getting easier, she hit her second growth spurt about a week ago, and the LONG nights began.

In addition to waking up several times in the middle of the night, I had to remind myself to burp her properly after every feed and prop her body up at an angle after that.  You see, Hannah has a slight case of Gastroesophageal Reflux (GER), and would sometimes throw up a little bit of milk.  The first time she did that, I panicked, not because I didn’t know babies did that, but because it never happened to Ethan; that boy kept everything down!  I remembered I just had to feed him, and burp or no burp, he would be okay after that.  Maybe girls are more high maintenance…hehehe…

In any case, breastfeeding definitely helps an infant with GER, and I hope she’ll feel much better soon.

Oh, and she prefers to be burped over the shoulder!  Doesn’t like the sitting and burping position…

Well anyway, I am glad we are nearing the end of this growth spurt…for one thing, it has certainly made our girl look more *bulat* by the day!  She is fast growing out of her 0-3months clothes too!

With the birth of Hannah, so begins this second breastfeeding journey of mine.  Psychologically, of course I am very prepared…prepared to sacrifice sleep for at least a few weeks or months, prepared for interrupted schedules and definitely prepared to reap the fulfilling rewards.

I’ll be honest.  The first night I spent with Hannah was VERY trying.  And although mentally I knew that this would be coming, fatigue was taking its toll on me.  Coupled with the fact that Hannah nursed VERY frequently that first night, and hardly slept, it would be really easy for any new mother to give up.  Of course, it didn’t help that the hospital I was in had nurses who *gently advised* me not to become a human pacifier, and tried to coax me to use a regular pacifier instead.  Luckily I did not cave in!  You see, I had clearly stated in my birth plan that I would be exclusively breastfeeding Hannah, and that she was not to have any bottles or pacifiers.

Anyway, that was not the end of my worries.  When I came home from the hospital, I started to get sore nipples due to the excessive nursing.  Hannah was latching on correctly, that much I am sure, but my nipples were very sore, and dry, probably because they were not yet *seasoned*.  I was never a fan of using lanolin to ease sore nipples, but I resorted to it a couple of times out of desperation.  I still prefer applying breast milk though.

This time round, hallelujah, my milk came in on the third day, but I still had to grit my teeth when I nursed Hannah then, so I consulted the internet and I was somewhat relieved to find out that the soreness would (hopefully) disappear come day 6 or so.  Hannah’s pediatrician recommended wearing loose clothing to help ease the soreness (and that help a lot).

Thankfully the soreness left from day 4 onwards and I am now happily nursing a happy beautiful baby

She is definitely a pro at breastfeeding, but sometimes she can get a little bit lazy after nursing on one side, and needs to be woken up for feeding on the other side.  Hannah is fed on demand and usually asks for a feed every 2-3 hours, but sometimes less frequently.

I am taking it easy now and have not started expressing milk yet, although sometimes I feel my breasts are quite full.  I am allowing my body to make just enough (no more and no less) milk for Hannah, so I will probably only start expressing for storage in Week 3 or 4 or later, when my milk supply is established.

So as far as my breastfeeding journey goes, I am definitely enjoying myself and from the looks of it, Hannah is too, as her weight has increased to 7lbs 6.5oz (3.359kilos) at 2 weeks’ old!